Day 199

Hi Everyone

Good day today, just had my usual itchy rash, but battling it through. One good thing about this rash is that other Sx have dropped off as if this one has full power LOL
Did some walking around our property this morning to get some exercise and fresh air, it was very relaxing. I also did a few minor jobs around the house and basically a nice easy day overall.

Its strange how this TX changes us, some for the worse and some I think for the better, a mix of different physical and mental feelings something that may return to pre Tx or may be with us for the rest of our lives, well we will just have to wait and see.....

Have Fun in what ever you do...
John

Day 198

Hello All

Today was a good day, had the plumbers here this morning replacing the replacement hot water system that was put in 3 to 4 weeks ago, which replaced and 18 Mth old Lemon of a Solar Hot water system. The Solar was replaced with instantaneous gas unit, which packed it in and they had to get a new replacement freighted up from the big smoke overnight. Hopefully this one will be OK, well if not its all under warranty.Have noticed today very short of breath and lots of coughing, maybe riba cough, but will get it checked out at my Clinic appointment this Friday coming and also will ask the Heptologist for a HBV PCR test as well, they said last time they would do it to see how the other Dragon is going, dead I hope.....

Also today got a parcel from my Sister and her Daughter, they sent me some Moo Products, Shower milk, eczema creme, milk moisturiser and Udder creme to try and give me some relief from this rash. The bag was also full of mixed Tim Tam biscuits and Chocolates and health chews and a T Shirt, what a surprise it give me and a lift to my spirits as well.....

Have a good week
John

Day 197

Me Again

Well today went to the GP and had my usual Ob's done and my weight has gone up by 1 kg to 66 kg, spoke to her about the rage incident and she was saying they may have to top up my Ad/s with some Largactril as a sedative feature if these turns continue or become more frequent, but at this point I don't want anymore maintenance meds for depression. So for the time being I am to take 1 Diazapam 2 days after needle, that's when I find myself usually feeling a bit narcy, will try, but don't like the Valium that much.

Bloods and Urine tests came back, all OK with the Urine test and my bloods have improved some as well....
HB went from 106 to 112
WCC went from 1.3 to 1.7
Neuts went from .54 to .74
Platelets went from 62 to 70

Some good changes for the better this time and happy with that...
Be Good everyone
John

Day 196

Hello again

Had a good day today and celebrated Fathers day with my family, the weather was great and I feel very at ease, which was good for all, the neighbours came over and I was discussing my rash and mentioned goats milk soap for showering and she said that there friends make and sell it and she went and gave me a cake to try and also some creme that a chap on the Gold Coast invented to help his 3 year old son or daughter that was suffering from extreme eczema ( spelling ) so i have applied that tonight as well as used the soap in the shower. Willing to try everything just to beat this rash from hell.

Going to my weekly GP Share Care visit tomorrow and also maybe get some blood results back and urine test results. Have noticed the dry mouth back again and I have been drinking water to the cows come home, think its just part and parcel of TX, I also use Biotene dry mouth gel and their mouth wash as well which does give some relief.

Hope you are all well and have a good week..

John

Day 194 & 195

Hello Everyone

Well still getting over what happened recently and now starting to get back to normal, well as normal as one can be on Tx that is. Have had some discussions with Cheryl and Renee and tried to explain, not excuse my behaviour as to how things seem to trigger off my rages at times. I also have to work at being more open with them both rather then try bury things that may later on stock pile into something much worse.

Lucky for me that they both were thinking a lot clearer then me at this time and reassured me to keep going with the Tx, in all that upset they still had my well being at heart.
Had my 29Th Injection tonight and spent a little quality time with them as well, maybe I need to mix a bit more, rather then hide away from everything when the going gets tough. Anyway feeling much better and extremely alert now to these situations that can spiral out of control, cant say I will handle it all, but I will be giving it my utmost attention.Slept most of the last few days and basically just got myself and family back together....

John

Day 193

Hello Everyone

Well after a lot of soul searching and that night and with the help and support for keeping my TX going from Cheryl and Renee I am going to keep on with my TX. Not much to report as I am still overwhelmed and coming to grips with what I have turned into.Will be working on this and have spoke to my psychologist about it all, also will be discussing in depth with my Gp the event and hopefully get some extra meds for this serious issue.

So today all was well with the family and I went down the back of our property and spent the day trimming long grass and reflecting on what happened and thought about self help strategies.
Thank you One and All for your kind support.

John

Day 191 & 192

Well I am Disgusted in what I am about to tell you

Tuesday And Wednesday

I am about to tell you of a horrible event that happened tonight, I had my shower just before tea time and as usual got Cheryl to put Moisturiser and Steroidal creme on my back and every thing was OK, after I got dressed I went out to the kitchen to get my Antibiotics and noticed a letter there addressed to someone who used to live with us and I questioned Cheryl over it and she said that they have to change it and well I just lost it and started screaming and swearing and then she retaliated by yelling something back, which she rarely ever does. So it escalated to a screaming match, which bought Renee down stairs to see what was going on and she then got involved, trying to stick up for her Mother and I yelled at her and she got most upset and swore at me as I was going out the door, it was like a red flag to me and I went back in at her to have it out and she went hysterical, thinking I was going to hit her which I never would, but she felt that traumatised by my obnoxious ans appalling behaviour, started an asthma attack and she ran off as if to hide. I have never ever laid a hand on Cheryl or Renee and I never would, I would cut my hands off first, but I think I have extinguished a precious bond of safety and love to Renee and I think it will never be the same again. I went and tried to apologise to her but she was way to upset and terrified of me.
What have I done, I have finally hit rock bottom I think, I am extremely Ashamed and was distraught that much that last night I went to the fridge and threw out all my Meds into the garbage bin, how can I live with the knowledge that this animal behaving person who was evil to the core continue to cause so much heartache. Whats the final outcome, do I clear these 2 virus's and have no family left around me or do I chuck it in now and save what minute remnants of relationships I have Left.... I love my Family and I can't keep putting them through this Hell.

John
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clq01TXQR0s