Hi Everyone
Well another couple of weeks further into Post Tx and still I have very mixed emotions and feelings going on, I remember hearing of others that have been affected in similar ways and at the time kept wondering what they really meant. It is a strange sensation, almost like a life changing event, the direction of where and how things are perceived is now very different and makes one question one's life direction. I have heard also of ongoing affects even quite some time after Tx and no sign of things improving, don't get me wrong here, this is not a doom and gloom scenario but more fact then fiction.
Is it possible with the effects of long term medication that some of the effects of this very potent drug can have permanent lasting effects that do change mannerism's, outlooks and temperaments of the patience who have been exposed to these treatments. I for one do put some credence into this as I feel it has changed me in all of those areas, finding myself questioning these issues often.
How do others perceive us after the treatment, do they expect that we will bounce back to our former selves or will they recognise the difficulties and changes that are upon us now, will they understand. At first I thought I just had to combat treatment and that would be it but I have since found out that is not the case, now we have to confront the remnant side effects from enduring this powerful medication and the ongoing symptoms it carries with it.
Who will understand ? who would have thought about this transition period ? I myself have found that it can be a very lonely place to be and a fragile place at times even with support and I have come to the conclusion that the outcome of curing a disease can bring with it unknown territory of isolation in many respects.
I have sometimes had expectations that cant be met and before would have brushed this off but now find it more difficult to come to terms with. This is not the raving of some depressed person but rather that of someone who is finally starting to confront things that may have been there for sometime and it took the brutal learning curve of Interferon to bring them to the front.....
Life is good, Life is what you make it, but life is empty if you can't be yourself....
Take Care and Be Well
John
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